This is relevant to this discussion. Pay attention.
Today I went to the Mister Donut near me—you know about Mister Donut, right? Well, there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn’t get in. Then I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling. It had “half price” written on it. How stupid, I thought. Those fools.
You don’t go to Mister Donut because it’s half price! That’s crazy. It’s only like 63 yen per donut. Sixty-three yen. There were entire families here, I was thinking. Family of four, all going out for Mister Donut? Crazy.
“Alright, Daddy’s going to order a dozen crappy donuts.” I couldn’t even bear to watch it. Mister Donut should be a battleground. With a tense atmosphere where two guys at opposite tables can start a fight any time. The dog-eat-dog mentality, that’s what’s good about it. Women and children should piss off and stay home.
Anyway, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard at the cash register goes, “Old-fashioned, and a Pon de Ring.” Who in the world orders an old-fashioned and a Pon de Ring? I wanted to ask him, “Do you really want to eat both of those horrible donuts?” I wanted to sit him down for a good hour to figure out what on earth was going through his head.
Coming from a Mister Donut expert like myself, the latest trend is the “crunchy” donuts. That’s right, with the filling with rice crispie bits in the middle. That’s the proper way to eat at Mister Donut. Then it’s delicious—you can’t get better.
However, if you order that, then there’s a danger that you’ll be noticed especially by the employees the next time you come in. It’s a double-edged sword. I can’t recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you should just stick with today’s special.
With apologies to 2ch.net oldbies.